mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
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