when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
