Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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