Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
last night I used snow as a chaser
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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