I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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