Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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