dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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