i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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