Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
