Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
