I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
