So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
