I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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