So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
