I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize