i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
