Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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