Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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