his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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