Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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