Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
