Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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