You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
