You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
