just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
