True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
