That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
