he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
