It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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