On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
