Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
