Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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