Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I am morally bankrupt
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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