It's Friday. Sex?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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