6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize