I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
