The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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