Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The adults are the big ones right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
