do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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