My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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