his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
