It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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