i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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