Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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