I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize