haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
