I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize