The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
