she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize