4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Randomize
