i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
