Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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