we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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