I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize