I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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