he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
