And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
