Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
