Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
