Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
