Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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