I want to have your abortion
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
