Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
